Trust is overrated.

As much as I want to say I trust someone, I can't. And people can tell me I am being childish, or being immature, or simply that I just have no idea what I am talking about, but when I can try to put so much faith in someone, and in a matter of a few months have them completely shatter all glimpses of any kind of faith that should be there, I beg to differ that I am childish, immature, and don't know what I am talking about. Even faith in a best friend, or a relative, or even a lover, the one person you are supposed to trust the most, I can honestly say I have none. I have faith that my heart will be broken, stepped on, and thrown in a blender. That my emotions will be strapped down into a seat and be taken on a wild roller coaster. That my feelings will be ignored and my sincerity and kindness will be used for the worst. And I know at this point in time in my life, my utter hatred towards humanity is but a phase. I know it will pass in time, and I will have some of the greatest friends, lovers, relatives in the world, but right now? I have none. And I don't care to have any either. I have a fiance that I would love to trust. And with some stuff, I do. And for the most part, our relationship is great. But the influence of drugs takes a great tole on the man he used to be. I loved that man. I trusted that man. I cared about that man. That man is my world, but at times my worst enemy as well. I have no self control either. Which is probably why I can't trust anyone. I have to trust myself first. I take it back, I don't HATE humanity, I just despise certain parts of it. I love my fiance with all my heart, but how can I trust someone who constantly lets me down? Opposites attract, yes. But I feel not without some consequences.